Thursday, April 24, 2014

Stop Punking Me

The last couple times Frank has been on the road, I swear I've had experiences I think only the Devil himself would appreciate.  This week though, well, it's been something special.

Monday actually was very special to me.  I was asked to do first birthday photos for the little man, Owen, that was in the room across from Mallory in the NICU.  They've both been on such incredible journeys and it was awesome to be able to see how big he's gotten and to talk with his mom!  We didn't get too much of a chance to talk when our kids were staying there, so this was truly such a wonderful time!  We did a few photos of the two of them together and they were just so cute!

So, thank you, Lindsey, for giving me the honor of taking his photos!!

I wish the rest of the week could have been that beautifully awesome!

Everything after that kind of went to hell in a hand basket.  Monday night I was up for most of the night listening to my seven year old, Nicholas, coughing and throwing up.  I don't know where this unpleasant bug came from but it has wiped out like half of our household!  Needless to say, Nicholas stayed home from school on Tuesday.

My three year old, Quentin, just started school this week.  On Monday actually.  He's going three days a week from about 11am until 3:50pm.  When I picked him up from the bus on Tuesday afternoon he seemed wiped out.  He was quiet and not quite acting himself.  After dinner time, I discovered he actually had a fever.  From then until probably this morning, he was a miserable wreck of a kid.  He was incredibly sleepy and quiet.  Totally the opposite of how he normally is.  Today though, I was hopeful because he was acting more himself.  He was eating better.  I really thought he seemed to be on the mend.

Then there's Mallory.  Poor little thing.  She caught this bug Wednesday morning.  She threw up her breakfast and continued on to be super cranky.  After she threw up her lunch, I decided to keep her on her trach collar until she gets better.  She's still battling this and it's hard to say if it's really getting better or not.  I realized that she was getting a little dehydrated last night, so I was giving her water through her g-tube through out the night and then started giving her a little juice this morning to help with her low blood sugar.  She kept most of her food down today until I decided to do her trach cares.  I gave her a cool bath and she thanked me by throwing up all over the place.  She's lucky she's so friggin' adorable!!  After I finally got her and the puke all cleaned up, she went back to sleep.

By the time the boys came home from school I was already exhausted.  I was actually sweating like I'd been doing some hard core cardio.  Did I mention that I caught the bug on Tuesday night too?  So I'm dealing with all of this, while sick myself, as a single parent for the week.  At the ever so intelligent suggestion of my sixteen year old, we ordered pizza for dinner so that I didn't have to cook.  A little before the pizza arrived, my ten year old, Jeremiah, told me that he wasn't feeling well.  I sent him to bed early and we sat down for dinner.  Since Quentin had been eating pretty well through out the day I thought giving him some pizza shouldn't be a problem.

What a friggin' idiot I am!  I'm pointing and laughing at myself and saying "MORON!!!"!  This is were I decided I must be being punked.  The comedy of events started to occur.  Quentin was laying on the couch and somehow fell off.  He got really mad and started to cry.  Crying led to coughing.  Coughing led to me demanding a bowl from my nine year old, who was doing dishes at the time, to give Quentin to barf in.

I held the bowl under Quentin's chin.  He just kept coughing, but no puke.  I decided that this would be a good time to show him he could throw up in the toilet.  I walked him to the bathroom with the bowl under his chin.  I leaned him towards the toilet.  He leaned in and then leaned back out.  Then, in slow motion of course, he leaned back in throwing up a little on his way back to the toilet.  Landed on the floor between his legs.  So much for trying to be proactive.  He didn't notice it.  He started to take a step backwards and at the same second his foot was coming down to land in his vomit, I did a leg take out to attempt to stop it.  He landed in his vomit anyway AND I knocked him on his ass.  This, of course, sent him into an even more intense crying, coughing frenzy.  He was now sitting on the floor as I was trying to clean up the puke, so I just handed him his bowl.  He threw up some more into the bowl.  But he kept moving the bowl closer and further, closer and further.  Well, one of the moments when it went further, he threw up all over his legs.  And the floor.  And the bathroom rug.  What. The. Hell.  That led to bath time, laundry time and floor cleaning time. Then Mallory's pulse ox alarm went off.  When did my house become a hospital?  How come I'm not making more money?  Someone, relieve me of the insanity!!!

Thank goodness that all the kids are now sleeping, allowing me some quiet time.  It's not assuring to know that half of my brood is out for the count though.  Poor things.  Quentin is at least sleeping peacefully now, let's just hope it's enough to get him healthy again!!!

And thank goodness Frank comes home tomorrow before I lose my mind!

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