Thursday, March 5, 2015

My Letter to Kraft

Dear Kraft,

Hi there.  My name is Cathy and I feed my children your Macaroni & Cheese.  Not all the time but every so often.  Like when I forget to defrost chicken to cook them a real meal.  Not that I don't think Macaroni & Cheese is delicious, it is, but let's face it... it's nutritional value is quite lacking.  It's drunken snack value is high up there... but that doesn't... help my children... never mind.  Anyway, I feel like I'm failing them when I have to change the dinner plan, but they think I'm a Goddess because they are getting this special treat.  I suppose that helps make the failure all worth it.

That said, I was wondering... can you please stop putting that little perforated thumb tab on the sides of the boxes?  Pretty please?  You know... that thing I think we (the consumer) are supposed to use to open up the box in one swift motion?  I  mean, I get why it's there.  Someone, somewhere... some super human being must have been able to accomplish opening it in the way in which it was designed... and I'd love to meet this super human... but I just can't do it.  I end up mangling the whole box and breaking finger nails.  I accomplish all of that with out ever even denting the little thumb tab.  Amazing isn't it?

I believe that it's truly unfair that I should feel like such a moron because of that little thumb tab.  I guess the fact that it has been on your boxes for so long must mean that I really am the only idiot who can't do it.  It taunts me, like "use me, use me" and then I try... and become a failure in the process.  Since I have already failed to supply my little hungry monsters with a properly cooked meal and am resorting to Macaroni & Cheese, I really don't care to feel like any bigger of a failure because of a box.  After all, motherhood is hard enough.

So, now that you've heard my concerns, my recommendation is a box redesign.  Something more simple for moms like me that need a quick dinner fix when they screw up.  (Or that late night drunken snack after the kids go to bed... either one.)  Suggestions?  Maybe a zipper?  A combination lock?  A touchscreen with a password?  Anything but that friggin' useless perforated thumb tab.

Thank you so much, Kraft, for hearing my concerns.

Have a lovely day,

Miss Tired of Opening Your Damn Box

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Now all you have to do is send it to them, who knows you might get a case of them with all the little tabs already opened!