Wednesday, June 27, 2018

What the 4th!

For starters, there is adult content in this blog.  It's got some pretty delightfully inappropriate topics, so I just want to make sure everyone understands that before you delve into it.  If that isn't your thing, definitely heed the warning and don't read further.  If it is your thing... here goes!

The 4th of July is upon us.  It's time for family get togethers, barbecues, treats and fireworks.  Our family happens to be having a 4th of July party this coming weekend.  I had planned on bringing deviled eggs but after finding that my sister-in-law had that covered, I dug into Pinterest to find a new tasty treat.  I have to tell you, pretty much everything looked delicious.  Sugary treats all colored in red, white and blue.  Blueberry, strawberry and banana shish kabobs a plenty.  Jello cups.  Rice Krispie treats.  Colorful cakes.  Scrumptious fruit salads.  So many tasty choices.

I thought I'd put this blog together to get opinions on a few of the recipes I found to find out which I should bring to my brother-in-law's house this Saturday.

Option 1:

Patriotic Marshmallow Wands

Patriotic.  Marshmallow... Wands.  Need I say more?  I mean, how tasty do these penis-shaped chocolatey dreams look?  No party should go without them.  That's for sure.

Option 2:

4th of July Popsicles

Or... as I like to call them... feet pops.  I mean, who doesn't want to eat a blue, cold dead foot with painted red toenails?  The kiddies will come a runnin'.

Option 3:

Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries

Um...............................................................................  Yeah.  They look like cream-filled... lady parts.  A delicacy for a 4th of July party.

Option 4:

Twinkies on a Stick

Who doesn't want to transform a phallic-shaped, cream-filled cake into an American flag?  Nothing screams patriotism more.  It doesn't.  As you take a bite and the cream oozes out, you'll say to yourself, "Ah, I love being an American."

Option 5:

Edible Eagles

Now, I know this isn't as deliciously charged as the other options but... it's definitely still a contender. I mean, eating the heads of America's iconic bird... what better way to say, "Happy Birthday, America!!"

Option 6:

(Last but definitely not least)
Patriotic Popsicles

These are such sweet, cute treats that help cool everyone off on a hot day.  The ridged red and white stripes all the way up the shaft topped off with a star at the head of it.. I don't know, this may be the winner!

So.. I really need your help!  Which would you bring?  These choices are so superbly amazing that making this decision alone seems impossible!